The dirty little secret about Roomba iRobot

There's a dirty little secret about the Roomba iRobot that nobody will tell you.  I'm here.  And I will.

I started off my day working a little in bed like I normally do when I saw a Facebook post announcing a deal on Amazon Prime Day for the Roomba iRobot 600 series.  I thought about it.  I pondered.  I justified.

I live with two cats and two dogs inside, 9 chickens and a horse outisde.  I'm highly allergic to cats.  I console my allergist by telling him I'm job security.  As you can imagine, it's a little dirty at my house.  My mother moans that it's a farmhouse every time she visits.  I cannot deny this accusation.

We have hardwood floors and only a couple of small rugs to give the dogs traction when they're chasing each other or the cats.  I vacuum at least weekly and sweep with a broom at least weekly and often more because I can't stand to see dirt on the floor.

During my Roomba jusitification process, I realized I never vacuum or sweep under the couch, bed, desk, hutch, or any other under-cover place.  This could be why I wake up from dreams of swimming, which I can't, and not being able to breathe - only to wake up with my asthmatic lungs seized up into a dither.

So, I ordered a Roomba iRobot for the bargain price of $250 +tax.  But nobody told me what would happen.

I eagerly awaited it's arrival, opened the instruction booklet, and followed it step by step.  I set an alarm on my phone so I'd know when it was fully charged and ready to get to work.

Then I pressed the "clean" button with no idea of what the future would hold.

Roomba bounced off the walls, backed up and back again, crawled under the couch with it's gentle murmur and I was thrilled.  It crossed it's path so many times I began to wonder if it was faulty.  Finally it moved into the dining room where I saw it's little brush excavate particles of crap from nooks and crannies I never knew existed.

It worked tirelessly in the living room, dining room, and kitchen without ever making it to the hall, bedroom, bathroom, or office before heading back to the docking station for a little R&R.

I was dumbfounded.  What the hell?  I thought this thing was supposed to vacuum my whole house, not just three measly rooms.  I mean - IT'S A ROBOT.  I could vacuum longer than that with my damn Kirby.

I flipped to the next page in the booklet to learn the next step is emptying the dust bin.  Hastily, I trudged over to the docking station and lifted it's little bum to remove the dust bin.

And then I saw it.

The filth.

The filth from floors where I could see no dirt particles on the floor before I started it.  The filth I had unknowingly been living in for years.  The filth that made my lungs wheeze and my dogs sneeze.

Nobody will tell you that the Roomba iRobot will show you what a filthy life you live.