Rainy reflections

Sometimes I feel like I haven’t got half the courage of a flea. And sometimes it seems I’ve never done anything in my life. And often it feels like I'm running out of time.

Then I look at pictures of Canada, Chile, England, California, Florida, Virginia, and all the other places I’ve been and I feel like I can’t complain because I’ve seen more in 28 years than some people do in an entire lifetime. Will I ever be satisfied? Will I really ever know what I want?

I love to travel. But I wonder if I only love to travel in order to replace what’s missing in my life. And I wonder if I keep going, will I eventually find it. I can't plan on that.

Planning is exhausting but I can’t seem to break free from the security I feel from it. As many of you know, spontaneity is not my strongest quality. I often say “I have talents in other areas” when I notice my shortcomings. But will I ever stop judging myself and settle for what I am?

Rainy days leave too much room for reflection.