The Nephew and the Pea

Is it an emergency if you put a pea in your ear?

Apparently it is. Last night I called my sister and she was on the verge of frantic. (My sister is so laid back this can be very difficult to recognize)

Her and her husband were desperately trying to extract a pea from my nephew’s ear. Yep, I mean from inside his ear canal.

What? You don’t do that on a regular basis? Hmmm. I guess a nose suction thinga-ma-bobber is your best bet.

So after a minute or two of conversation my sister says she’ll probably have to go the hospital because their efforts to free the rebel pea have not been successful.

Yes, I asked too. Like the emergency room? Uh huh.

Knowing that my sister is always a hyper over-reactor, I questioned the “emergency” part of the pea situation. Seemed to me an early morning call to the pediatrician’s office would suffice. Upon my suggestion, she began to question it too. So she decided to call the “ask a nurse” line or something similar.

She was quickly told to take the child to the emergency room.

Again. Huh? Really an emergency??

Apparently there is an immediate risk of infection if you lodge a piece of perishable food in your ear canal. So in they go…her husband and the pea-brain boy. Before arriving at the hospital, my sister had to pick up my other nephew at vacation bible school.

At the hospital she asked about Spencer’s whereabouts. She’s answered with a momentarily perplexed look from the receptionist.

“I’m here for the boy with the pea in his ear,” my sister said, slightly irritated.

“Oh! Yeah, he’s right over there,” came the reply from the hospital staff.

Now that they’ve arrived at the hospital my sister and her husband really expected to take a pea-less boy home. No such luck.

Due to the depth of the pea and the fact that he has tubes in his ears, the pea must be extracted under anesthesia so he must go to surgery the next day.

Go figure!

So they take the nephew and the pea to the surgeon for extraction. All goes well.

My sister goes to find him in recovery. “I’m looking for Spencer Smith.” Perplexed staff member gazes at my sister. “The boy with the pea in his ear,” said my sister. “Oh yeah! He’s right over there!”

How long will Spencer be “the boy with the pea in his ear?”

Oh, I’m guessing at least until college or marriage. It’s just too funny to not embarrass him regularly.

The moral of the story? If you plan to stick food in your ear, you should choose a non-perishable item. You know…like a can of tuna fish or something.