Mexican Food & Camel Similarity - Part III

The next day I went to work at the buffalo farm.  After a long day I wanted to visit my friend Casey the camel.  I had brought baby carrots for our scratching session and I was totally stoked.

In a session days before, I had learned that it is best if the male camel, No No, is tied up prior to approaching Casey.  That lesson came quite clearly when No No became so frustrated with the fact that Casey, Molly, nor myself would allow him to breed.  Through his frustration I witnessed the scene as he laid down on top of a feed tub and proceeded to pleasure himself.  

I'm still in therapy.

Never-the-less I walked toward the camel paddock with two lead shanks and a new plan:  Tie No No before catching Casey.  As I approached the gate, and as usual, No No was pestering Casey to breed.  She clearly wasn't interested but noticed my approach and started my way with the hopes of scoring a carrot or two.  

No No followed.  Then No No plowed into the side of her.  Then No No began walking toward me.  I was glad he was going to let me catch him so I walked a few steps towards him and stopped.  As he grew closer I expected him to slow his pace.  He did not.  Quickly I realized that he wasn't going to just let me catch him so I stepped backwards a few steps towards the gate.  

I was too late.  Within a nano-second it seemed I was slammed into the gate and lifted off the ground.  I tried to scream but all I could get was lung-fulls of dusty camel hair.  Next he lowered himself through his knees and dragged me down the gate.  The change in position and the excruciating pain in my neck made me scream once my lungs were able to fill with air.  I screamed for help in a blood-curdling pitch.  In an instant I realized with all of the people in either the barn or the house, no one could hear my cries for help.

I remained at the mercy of No No the camel.  I tried to beat on his sides but he had pinched my arms at my sides when he slammed me against the gate.  Before long he lifted me up once more and I feared for my life as my head was rubbed on the gate as if it were a washboard.

Suddenly No No took one straight step back, releasing me from the gate.  I didn't even catch my breath.  I scrambled to the outside of the paddock and shook with residual fear of being crushed by a horny camel.  

Shortly after the camel incident my neck began to swell and my collar bones felt like they had been run over by a truck.

After brief consultation with my physician friend, we determined my jaw was not broken and although my neck was swelling, I would probably be fine.  

Except for the fact that I'm still really sexy in the eyes of No No the horny camel,  I did learn that I will never again enter the camel pen alone.